#22: Looking for the next Henry Cisneros

Could have made us proud, hermano

It sounds like an old mariachi song.

In walks a tall, dark, handsome Educated Chicano, straight out of Texas A&M University and Harvard Kennedy School (with two Master’s degrees on that ass) who becomes the first Latino mayor of a U.S. major city. Elected four times, he transforms the once poor Mexican-American city of San Antonio into an economic and tourist powerhouse. The brother dresses in slick suits, stays in shape, and ain’t no long-haired radical type still lost in the 1970s. He marries his high school sweetheart, has three wonderful children and appears in 1980s Texas social studies books as the possible “future first Hispanic president” of the United States.

‘You, too, could be the next Henry Cisneros,’ school teachers tell future ECHs from Texas to California. Estimated date he could become president? Around 2004 or 2008, teachers promise.

Our middle-class Mexican Moses has arrived…

Then scandal hits. He admits to an extramarital affair with his chief political campaign fundraiser, a white woman. He leaves public life to reconcile with his wife (whom he’s still married to today). He later become Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under President Clinton, but is indicted on 18 counts of conspiracy, giving false statements and obstruction of Justice relating to hush money to the former mistress.  Eventually, he pleads guilty to a misdemeanor charge but his pardoned by President Clinton.

Since then and despite Latinos practically begging, Cisneros declines to run for Senate, Texas Gov., dog catcher or take a cabinet job again. Instead, he stays in the private sector as president and chief operating officer of Univision Communications then builds an urban real estate business. He’s too ashamed to reenter the public eye.

Meanwhile, let’s be honest, ain’t been a political replacement for years and miles since. There are no current ECH Senators (again, Cubans don’t count). The one ECH governor is about to be term-limited out of office. That ECH mayor in Los Angeles, yep, got caught in an affair. That ECH current Secretary of Interior is bald and fat. One ECH elected sister, as one blog put it, “is more known for her Christmas cards than for her advocacy.”

The real thing hasn’t come along.

As a result, every election ECHs wait, search, scout, or hope to blindly anoint the next Henry Cisnernos. Rather it’s a charismatic Latino city councilor in Albuquerque, a smart Latina county commissioner in Houston, a brainy superintendent of the San Fernando Valley, the new San Antonio mayor or his twin brother, hell, even a funny regional director of the border patrol in Arizona, the ECH is ready to crown the next Henry Cisneros to keep the dream alive. What’s the dream? Having a national leader — maybe even a president — who will let the country know that, yes, we are Americans. We’ve arrived.

“But the real truth is,” Tomas Rivera wrote in …and the earth did not swallow him,”we never arrive.”

Maybe.

But that’s not going to stop ECHs from searching. That’s not going to stop ECHs from voting. That’s not going to stop ECHs from putting their hopes in substitutes until the real thing comes along.

Truthfully, he or she, is out there but is probably just entering elementary school. He is from the next generation, maybe from Los Angeles or Tucson, maybe she’s the daughter of undocumented immigrants currently living in Phoenix or Atlanta or North Carolina. Eventually, he’s heading to Harvard, Columbia, or Duke, will read all the works before our time and his. No one will be able to touch her intellect, and if you and I are still alive, to hear her speak, hear her lay out her plans, man, it will shake something deep inside, re-awake aging dreams, re-plant that long-held hope that the world of our grandparents, parents, or children will finally change.

‘You’re late,’ we will say. ‘But it’s OK. You were worth the wait.’

#21: Referring to Salvadoran Americans as ‘El Salvadorans’ (or adding an extra ‘i’ as in ‘Salvadorians’)

L.A. Salvadorans trying to claim independence from ECH bigotry

So the Educated Chicano needs someone shorter to pick on. We get that.

You’ve endured and you shall endure all the short jokes and short insecurities compared to others. When someone shorter than you walks in the room, come on, it feels good to be the oppressor for once. We get that, too.

Just use the proper, freakin’ term when talking about the people and don’t come across like an illiterate idiot despite your multiple degrees.

Ever since Salvadorans have migrated to the U.S., the ECHs have looked at the population with curiosity, wonderment, and confusion. Here are some tiny Mexicans who cook some thick ass corn tortillas (pupusas), live in places we’d never live (New Jersey), and still manage to survive and thrive. Some ECHs give out the respect since Salvadorans are to be admired after that Civil War (more on that in a minute).  But ECHs managed to flush that respect down the Mayan toilet when they continue to call that grocery store owner around the corner “that El Salvadoran.”

“You know that Juanita in the science department isn’t Chicana,” the ECH English teacher will whisper. “She’s El Salvadorian.”

Eww….

The ECH lawyer: “Mira. Judge Sanchez in the 1st district. That vato is El Salvadoran, wey. I couldn’t even tell.”

Ahh…

“When are the El Salvadorans playing Team Mexico in soccer?” the ECH engineer asks.

Of course, the proper term is “Salvadoran,” but don’t tell that to the former MEChistas. They know all about identity and were down with that church that was supporting those poor El Salvadorans fleeing that brutal civil war. Yes, the war was brutal and filled with human rights violations. Great for novels and perfect environment to introduce a poor, Latina, traumatic, suffering character in a movie (see Mi Familia).  But that was 30 years ago. Can a Salvadoran brother or sister get another story line? It’s not like every time a white person brings up ECHs in movies they mention Edward James Olmos. (oh wait…)

And let’s not forgot, when a group of ECHs get together and the subject of “El Salvadorans” come up, the issue of MS 13 (aka Mara Salvatrucha) can’t go without a mentioning. “That El Salvadoran gang is dangerous,” the ECH will say, almost suggesting that the Latin Kings or Bloods back in abuela’s neighborhood are such great community organizers. “They’re crazy. Gotta watch out for them.”

Right.

Why the ECH doesn’t use “Los” is a good point. Chalk it up to a lack of knowledge of the Spanish language. Then again, using “El” for these brothers and sister is just plain lack of knowledge.

How short-sighted of us.

#20: Wearing Che T-Shirts

Santana getting his Che on.

Oh, you radical, you.

The Educated Chicano is enjoying that wonderful middle-class life he or she has been so working so hard toward. You’ve got your HD TV working, the iPhone clicking, and a nice coche with some GPS on that ass. But deep in the ECH psyche is that insecurity that he or she is moving away from the radical ethos taught in those Chicano Studies classes by those aging, but lovable Chicano hippies with their boney-tails and greying goatees.

Just sport the Che Guevara tees, homes, and you’ll be a’ight.

At BBQs, MEChA reunions, socials at conference, dinner with old college friends, or just to piss off Cuban Americans (see #19), ECHs will yank out the Che tees so they can get their racial blood going. You know, make them feel all La Causa. After all, Che and his revolutionary background is great cover to get people looking away from those expensive shoe you’ve got there on your feet.  But with Che, ECHs can let the world know, yo, I’m still down with revolution and Che is down with me. It makes them almost feel like they’re still in MEChA, minus the boring lectures about neo-Aztlan and no salsa music at the after conference dance. ECHs can even get the latest Che gear at thechestore.com.

For years, ECHs have been using Che’s image as symbol of the old struggle. He is on Movement murals in East LA. He’s on flags at immigration rallies. He’s a tattoo on ECHs arms, chest, and asses. Student ECH activist use his image to fight rising tuition. ECH feministas sometimes, and this is my favorite, invoke Che in the cause against sexism (because Che treated his many lovers and his offspring with so much respect).

But few know the real Che. For example, he pressed Castro and the Soviets to nuke the U.S. during the Cuban Missile crisis (which would have blown your WWII-vet abuelo into ashes). He advocated violence to overthrow governments (including yours) and saw nothing wrong with certain human rights violations. But hey, nobody’s perfect.

All this can be overlook when ECHs want to let the world know, look, I’m still not down with that internal-colonialism you’re trying to force on me, ese. Mira, my Che tee, and get your eyes off my blackberry. I’m not playing, eh. One day, homes. One day.